Craig and Ellie's Infinite Playlist
by Making it Shine
Summary: A collection of crellie song-fics. Ratings very for each one.
1. When You're Gone

**Hi guys, this is my collection of crellie song-fics! And no, it has nothing to do with Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, I just thought the name would fit the concept. All of these will be separate from each other, so they're basically one-shots unless I say other wise. Some will be AU, some will go along with the story line from the show, and some will be a mix. That being said, this first song to kick-start this is 'When You're Gone' by Avril Lavigne and takes place after Craig first goes to Vancouver.**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own any character in this chapter, nor do I own the song.**

* * *

Song: When You're Gone

Artist: Avril Lavigne

Rating:T(suggested sexual content and mentions of self-harm)

_xxxxxxxxx_

I never thought I'd feel such need for someone before. My dad was always away for the Army, and my mother could barely take care of herself, let alone another person. But when Craig came into my life, that all changed. He taught me that I could actually trust someone besides myself, that I could actually be capable of loving and needing someone.

_xxxxxxxxx_

When I joined his band, everything seemed perfect. We were the best of friends, and then when the wedding gig came around, we became much more than that, and I loved every second of it.

_xxxxxxxxx_

Everything was going great, for once in my life. I had great supportive friends, I got in-touch with my inner musician again, and I found someone who understood me completely, and loved me despite my imperfections. Then, I came to a fork in the road. We played in front of a live audience, and a manager found us. Turns out he only wanted Craig. Craig said it was all of us or none, but could I really let him do that? Could I let Craig give up his dream just so he could stay here? He said he loved me and would never leave, which only made my decision that much more difficult.

_xxxxxxxxx_

That night I told him to go. I said we'd all be fine, that I'd way goodbye, for him. He told me how much he loved me and how he'll think of me always. I ended up loosing my virginity that night.

_xxxxxxxxx_

We stood laced in each other's arms while Leo and Joey talked. I had gone with them to Vancouver to say my official goodbye to Craig.

"I love you El, and I understand that you can't stay here with me. Just know that I'll be thinking of you everyday and every time lyrics for a song come to mind, it'll be for you." He said sweetly. He grabbed my face and passionately kissed me for a few minutes. When we pulled away I was breathless and even though my heart was souring, it was also breaking.

"I love you too Craig." I smiled slightly.

"Come on Ellie, let's get you home." Joey said, walking away to the car. Craig have me one last smile before he turned to walk into his new house.

One,two,three,four steps...

and he was gone

_xxxxxxxxx_

The first two months were hell. My dad had found out he had to stay on the peacekeeping trip even longer, and no matter how hard I tried, it was no use, my mother started drinking again. As soon as I found out I called up Craig, and we talked for hours until he was forced to hang up. Apparently being a singer-song writer was harder than he thought. As the days passed without his help, I spent more and more time staring at a razor, willing myself not to touch it.

_xxxxxxxxx_

Whenever Craig called it was a blessing in disguise. He'd tell me how much he loved me and how cutting wasn't worth the pain, and it'll all be ok again. But the times he didn't call very often were the worst. I get it though, he's livin' the rock-star dream while I'm here, waiting.

_xxxxxxxxx_

I opened my eyes and rolled over, seeing the other side of my bed empty. I remember the nights when he'd sneak into my house from the back door and come into my room with me to stay the night. I shook my head and sighed heavily, I really miss Craig.

* * *

**Ok so that was the first of Craig and Ellie's Infinite Playlist. I'll be updating this randomly, so look out for the next one:)**


	2. Rinse

**Hey, I'm back with another chapter. No, I do NOT own Degarssi or this song. Well, I have the cd that this song is on, so I guess I partially own it, in the sense that I own the cd. Anyway, here ya go.**

**Song: Rinse**

**Artist: Vanessa Carlton**

**Rating:T(language and mention of drug usage) **

* * *

_She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye_

_she would suffer, she fight and compromise._

I smiled slightly as I stared at myself in the mirror. A knee-high corset black dress with sleeves adorned my body. My feet wobbled a little in the heels but eh, who cares right? It was a small sacrifice if it meant I could finally get Craig's attention. And not the 'oh I'm so grateful we're friends, you've really helped me cope' attention. I mean the attention that he showed other girls i.e. Ashley and Manny. The attention that would make him see that I was just as good as them, possibly even better. I was in high hopes that in the first few moments of seeing me all dressed up for him he would realize that I didn't want to be just friends, that I wanted more.

_She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright_

_for answers to questions that will haunt her tonight..._

As I walked down the street I couldn't help but wonder what this night would turn out to be. Would he still consider me one of his best friends and continue to pursue all those trashy girls? Would he laugh at my poor attempt to capture his attention? Or would he see that I could be all he wants and needs, that I could be the one for him. I shook my head, guess I'll just have to see how it goes.

_She must rinse this all away, she can't hold him this way_

_she must rinse this all away, she can't love him this way._

Shame on me right? What I fool I had been to actually have had the slightest hope that we could be something. I really believed that I'd finally had a shot when Ms. Man-eater Manny strolls up in her tight little get-up and basically shot down and chance I had at getting Craig's attention. Even when he came chasing after me after I had lashed out on her, he still didn't have the slightest clue.

"Ellie, wait. What the hell's going on?" He questioned, his eyebrows raising to the top of his head. How could he be so blind! Can't he see that I lo-like him.

"You tell me! You're the one who called her, you're the one who sat there drooling over her all night like some perv! And this, this isn't me...I don't dress up." Damn, I about gave myself away there. Craig's confusion showed clearly on his face.

"I'm flattered?" Yes, as if it were so impossible that he could even consider the thought of me liking him, let alone have the feeling be mutual.

"Don't be! This is for the gig, this doesn't mean anything." I avoided his eyes. With how bad of a lier I am it would be nearly impossible for anyone to not catch on. Anyone except Craig, that is.

_How she'd be soothed how she'd be saved if he could see_

_she needs to be held in his arms to be free._

_But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand_

_'til she knows that the heart of a women can never be found in the arms of a man._

How can I say this in a way that sounds like I'm not bitter. Manny's a slut and Craig's a dumb-ass, there. Of course the next day after the haphazard wedding gig I'm just minding my own business trying to will myself to not ditch school and lay in bed all day with a junk food that would temporarily replace a friend, and in strolls my _very best friend_...and his new, well technically recycled, arm-candy. My jaw drops and I ball my fists. Craig's eyes scan the hall until the land on me. He nods and heads over to me with a "Hey El!" As if last night never happened. As if I hadn't basically slapped him up side the head with my feelings. I slammed my locker and took off quickly, fearing that if I had stayed a moment longer I might have punched Manny...or both of them. I could feel tears starting to form on the inside of my eyes. Why couldn't he just open his damn eyes and see what's right in front of his face?! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I...love him.

_She must rinse this all away, she can't hold him this way_

_she must rinse this all away, she can't love him._

_Damn _her, _Damn_ him, _Damn_ everything! I hate him_._ He's such and idiot and annoying and reckless, and totally inconsiderate of other people's feelings. I shouldn't even be his friend. Friends don't hurt other friends, even if it is unintentional. He's an asshole and I hate him, or at least I wish I did. I wish I hated him the way I did when he cheated on Ash, then I wouldn't be in this mess. I knew he was a heart-breaker and I fell for it anyway.

_And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed_

_what could be worse than leaving something behind._

_And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow_

_it's loneliness she finds..._

First the band was at an all time high. I was praising Leo, he actually wanted to manage the band. But of course, the universe didn't want princess Ellie Nash to finally have her happy ending with the prince, turns out Leo only wanted Craig. And what could I do? Finally confess my feelings to Craig and beg him to give up his dream and stay in Toronto? If only Craig's happiness was less important than mine, but alas, I encouraged him to go. Surprisingly, he was less than jumping at the chance, claiming this was about the band, not just him. After he considered what I told him, he asked about the others. Joey, Angie, Man-eater. I said they'd be fine.

"What about you?" He had asked. My eyes widened. What _about_ me? A thousand different scenarios ran through my head. Did he think I couldn't function without him? Did he not want to go without me? Was there the light at the end of the tunnel, the happy ending? I pushed those thoughts aside though, this wasn't about me, it was about him and his dream. I wouldn't let anything, even myself, stop him from doing what he loves.

_...if only he was mine._

"I-I'll wave goodbye, because I have to." And I did say goodbye, the very next day. I hugged him as tightly as I could. I didn't want to let him go. But really, I wasn't letting go of anything, because no matter how many times I fantasized and dreamt about it, he was never mine to begin with.

_She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye_

_she would suffer, she fight and compromise._

Things started to change as we got older. I graduated and while Craig was there for it, he was in the wind the very next day. Marco and I went off to university and I even got myself a boyfriend. I, Ellie Nash was officially over Craig Manning. Oh how wrong had I been.

Craig the-rock-star Manning came back for a while. Even though I saw changes in him I also saw the boy I had fallen so hard for back in the summer before senior year. But those days were over. I had university, I had a job, I had Jesse. I had everything I wanted, or at least that's what I had convinced myself. And just as everything was going up, fate payed me a visit and made everything come crashing down. Manny was so wrapped up in wanted her stupid acting role that she must have not noticed a change in Craig, a deadly one. Now, I know that seems a bit unfair, since I didn't even see it, but she was he girlfriend after all. Isn't she the one supposed to know him inside and out? I laughed at that thought. No matter how much she may know him physically, she doesn't know him, not like I know him. That's why I beat myself up for completely falling for it when he said the cocaine was Manny's. The last straw was when I went to find him backstage, since he bailed out on me about going to group, and finding coke in his bag. Oh, did I mention that we _kissed_ and he told me he _loves me_ and I truthfully said it back, only to have him moments later try to convince me not to tell Joey...yeah...well...at least he knows now. Not that I don't suspect that he's known all along, which only adds to my heart having the life squeezed out of it even more.

_She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright_

_for answers to questions that will haunt her tonight._

All of that leads me to now. I'm standing in front of him as he sits on a bench. He slowly looks up with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. But I can't think about that. He played me and hurt me in a way I never thought he'd do.

"You're on the 11AM to Calgary. Joey's waiting for you at the airport." I'm so tired. Tired of trying, tired of fighting for Craig. I think it's time I close this part of my life for good and move on.

"I guess you're here to make sure I get on the plane, right?" He asks. Of course he would. I guess that's all I ever was to him, a safety net, just something to make sure he got on his feet ok and used me for support when he couldn't. Well he will see that that is over now.

"No um Mr. Simpson is. I'm leaving." I say strongly, although I can feel the tears coming. I walk past him, behind the bench. As soon as I do the tears scatter down my face. I suddenly feel a tug and know it's him. I turn around, holding my face, trying to mask the tears. It's no use though, he knows he's wounded me.

"Ellie I know I messed up, badly, but I am glad for one thing. I was finally able to be honest with you. I meant what I said and I've felt that way for a long time." The tears flow freely and my heart is being squeezed to it's breaking point. Craig Manning just admitted that he loves me, and he has for a long time. What did he mean by finally able to be honest? Does he mean that he thought I didn't love him, so he didn't say anything? What could come of this new information. Wait, no. It doesn't matter. That opportunity has passed.

"No just don't. Don't, just...it's beside the point. You need help." Yes, even when he's hurt me the worst he possibly can, and even though I want to just leap in his arms right now and tell him it's ok, that we can be together...I don't, I can't. That would be selfish of me and he needs rehab more than he needs me right now.

"I know, I know. I'm going to rehab or whatever, but when I get out maybe we could..." He's cupping my cheek with his hand and it's heaven. He's offering me something that I've wanted for so long, and yet...I can't. For the first time, I need to do this for me, instead of for him. I'm shaking my head as more tears stream down on my face.

_She must rinse him, she must rinse him_

_she can't rinse him, she can't rinse him._

_She can't, she won't she must rinse him, she can't she won't she must rinse him._

_She must rinse this all away_

_she can't hold him this way._

"Goodbye Craig." I say, officially cutting ties with him. And it's truly the most painful thing I've ever gone through.

_She must rinse this all away_

_She can't love him this way._

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him

and through it all, _I...still love him._


	3. Better than Revenge

**I'm going on vaca for about a week so I thought I'd update this before I go.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Degrassi or the characters mentioned. And although I bought this cd with this song, I did not write or have the rights to this song. **

**P.S. Underlined are the song lyrics, italics are flashbacks.**

**Song: Better than Revenge**

**Artist: Taylor Swift**

**Rating: T(Very slight sexual description and language)**

* * *

Ellie sat back stage waiting for her time. She had a rough summer but it was time for a little dish called payback, a dish that was always served cold.

"You're on in 5." A stagehand said to her. As they set up lights and the band read through the song to make sure they'd play it right, a familiar face came up to her.

"You were great, I love that song."

"Thanks. You ready to do this El?"

"Ready than ever."

"Awesome. I know you'll rock. I'll be right here watching the whole time." She nodded and waited for her cue.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. For the last act of the night we are bringing to you an aspiring singer. Her name is Ellie Nash." Ellie took one last deep breath before walking out onto the stage. It was a good thing she wasn't stage fright because if she was the thousands of people there would have made her flee the stage with her tail between her legs.

"Hi. I'm Ellie Nash and I'm gonna perform a song I just wrote a few weeks ago. I hope you like it." She started out the song with a sentence.

"Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did." The music exploded into the stands and the crowd went wild. She noticed the cameras and remembered this was being aired on live tv.

"Ha! Time for a little revenge.

The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and...

I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him

She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause

She took him faster than you could say sabotage"

As she sang she remembered the past summer.

_Sean had come back for Ellie and she honestly couldn't be happier. Sure she was pissed at him for leaving in the first place but she got over it when he declared his love for her. They decided to get an apartment together again and start out where they left off. They had thrown a house warming party and every showed up, including Craig with his arm candy. Although Ellie felt a little upset she figured it was time to put her feelings for Craig aside and focus on Sean._

_"Welcome back Sean, we all missed you." Manny smiled giving Sean a hug. Craig wanted to say he missed Sean, but honestly, he didn't. Sean had up and left Ellie, something that should not have been forgiven. But Craig wanted Ellie to be happy, and if Sean made her happy, he was happy._

_"Yeah, welcome."_

_"Thanks guys, we're gonna have to catch up some time."_

_**xxxxxxx**_

_"That was a great party Ellie, thanks." She smiled and Sean wrapping her arms around his neck._

_"No problem. I was so excited about you coming back I wanted everyone to join in. I love you Sean."_

_"Love you too." He smiled sweetly before kissing her._

"I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it

I underestimated just who I was dealing with

She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum

She underestimated just who she was stealing from"

_Ellie walked into the apartment excited for tonight. She had just come from the store to pick up things to make her very own homemade pizza. She never cooked much but she figured she'd give it a go for Sean. She heard noise coming from their bedroom and raised hey eyebrow. Figuring Sean fell asleep while watching tv she silently opened the door to be careful not to wake him. What she wasn't expecting was for Manny be naked on top of Sean. Ellie mouth hung open and she felt like she was going to vomit. She silently shut the door, in too much shock to say anything. She ran out of the apartment tears running down her face. She got in her car speeding away._

_**xxxxxxx**_

_He heard a knock on the door._

_"Oh hey El-"_

_"He cheated on me." She wailed wrapping her arms around his waist._

_"What?"_

_"Sean, he cheated on me...with your girlfriend!" Craig raised his eyebrows wide._

_"What? Wait Ellie, are you sure-"_

_"Yes, I'm positive! I came into the apartment and heard something come from the bedroom. I thought it was the tv so I went to turn in off and-I-I saw her. I saw Manny on top of Sean." She cried more._

_"Shh shhh, calm down El let's just. Well I...did they see you?"_

_"No, and I didn't say anything. I think I was too shocked." Craig nodded, knowing the feeling._

_"Sean and Manny. Who would've thought." Ellie sighed, she hadn't seen this coming at all. She honestly thought this time they would last. Ellie stayed wrapped in Craig arms for what seemed like hours, just enjoying being around him. Even though she had just found out she was cheated on by the guy who had just come back to her after abandoning her, she felt...ok._

_"Hey El."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I know how we can get them back." Ellie raised her eyebrow._

_"How?"_

_"Ok so..." And as they planned out the perfect revenge she knew Manny would soon find out just how much she underestimated who she stole from._

"She's not a saint

And she's not what you think

She's an actress, whoa

She's better known

For the things that she does

On the mattress, whoa

Soon she's gonna find

Stealing other people's toys

On the playground won't

Make you many friends

She should keep in mind

She should keep in mind

there is nothing I do better than revenge"

_"So, you first day back at Degrassi, you excited?"_

_"Of course. I'm ready to get my life back on track. And it's all thanks to you." Ellie forced a sweat smile and kissed Sean's cheek._

_"Have fun, I'll come by the school after my classes."_

_"K, love you." He then shut the door behind him._

_"Oh, you won't soon." She said to herself._

_Ellie and Craig walked into Degrassi looking for two certain people._

_They found Manny talking to Sean at his locker._

_"So hot."_

_"What's so hot?" Craig asked. She turned around._

_"Craig!...and Ellie. What're you guys doing here?" She asking brining her lips to his._

_"Just stopped by to say hi. Since I'm here for a few days I wanted to see my girl as much as_

_possible."_

_"So, what's 'so hot'?" Ellie questioned. Manny raised her eyebrows and glanced at Sean before looking back at Ellie._

_"The heat. I was just saying how it's gonna be a really hot summer." Ellie nodded. If she didn't already know about Manny and Sean she would have believed that. It's no doubt Manny was a good actress, too bad she wasn't that good at sneaking._

"She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list

She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it

I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling

And she thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things

But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know  


Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go

They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me

But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity"

_"You ready to go?"_

_"Yep." Sean and Ellie were about to head to Manny's birthday party. They got there and Manny walked up to them smiling._

_"Sean, you made it." Ellie rolled her eyes as Manny gave him a long hug. She couldn't wait to have this plan out for the world to see._

_"Hey Ellie. Just so you know, black clothes are quite outdated."_

_"Thanks. Just so you know, being a man-eater is too. Although, maybe you should change. Wouldn't want those one-night stands thinking you're a nun in that 50's house wife dress." Manny scoffed and then frowned. Ellie smirked, some things were just too easy._

"She's not a saint

And she's not what you think

She's an actress, whoa

She's better known

For the things that she does

On the mattress, whoa

Soon she's gonna find

Stealing other people's toys

On the playground won't

Make you many friends

She should keep in mind

She should keep in mind

there is nothing I do better than revenge"

Ellie looked into the crowd and almost died laughing when she saw a very familiar face front and center.

_Tonight was the night. Next week she'd be in front of thousands upon thousands of people perfecting this very special song. There was only one thing left to do._

_"I'm leaving."_

_"What?"_

_"You heard me." Sean furrowed his eyebrows and jumped up running after Ellie as she went into their bedroom stuffing her things into suitcases._

_"What do you mean you're leaving, what's going on Ellie?"_

_"I'm dumping your lying ass Sean, once and for all." Sean couldn't figure out what had gotten into Ellie. She didn't know about Manny did she? She couldn't have._

_"Wait Ell-"_

_"No. They will be no more waiting for you to admit something I already know." She grabbed all her bags and walked out of the apartment. Sean ran out the door after her._

_"Ellie please-"_

_"No Sean. You're a bastard and honestly, the bitch and bastard go together. And that certainly isn't me." She then turned back around, walking away from Sean forever. She was finally free._

"I'm just another thing for you

To roll your eyes at, honey

You might have him but haven't you heard

I'm just another thing for you

To roll your eyes at, honey

You might have him but I always get the last word

Whoa"

Sean watched from the tv as Ellie sang her heart out prancing around the stage. He put his hand to his forehead, he really was a stupid and screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Manny was shocked at what she was hearing. What was going on? Was Ellie talking about her? No, she couldn't be! Ellie didn't know about Sean, no one did...right? _Right?!_

"Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?

'Cause I don't think you do. Oh.

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?

I don't think you do

Don't think you do

Let's hear the applause

Come show me how much better you are (so much better, yeah)

So you deserve some applause 'cause you're so much better

She took him faster than you could say sabotage"

The crowd went nuts, jumping out of their seats and shouting. Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, she did it, she finally did it. She looked down at Manny dumbstruck face and smirked winking back at her. Manny quickly got up and ran backstage to go look for her boyfriend.

"Thank you L.A., goodnight!" Was Ellie's last words before going backstage.

"Hey, have you seen Craig Manning?" Manny asked a stagehand.

"Why?"

"He's my boyfriend, and I need to talk to him." She said showing him her backstage pass. He nodded and stepped aside for her to go. She walked in frantically searching for him. She was pissed and had to get to him before Ellie did. Speaking of the devil's spawn, there she was, walking from the stage into the back of it. Manny stalked up to her.

"Ellie." She barked. Ellie turned around seeing a furious Manny stalking toward her. She suppressed a wicked grin, and raised her eyebrows.

"Yes Manny?"

"What the _hell_ was that?" Ellie put her hands on her hips.

"I think you know exactly what it was. In fact, _everyone_ knows." She narrowed her eyebrows a little, challenging Manny.

"If you dare tell Craig I'll-"

"Ellie, that performance, it was mind blowing! Perfect." Craig complimented walking up to them.

"Thanks." Craig suddenly brought his lips to hers, capturing them in a passionate earth-shattering kiss. Manny's mouth dropped to the ground and her eyes were about to pop out.

"See you in the hotel room." He murmured. Ellie blushed and nodded sweetly. Craig smirked and walked away.

"Now, what were you saying?" Ellie questioned, not caring to hide her smirked and raised eyebrow.

"B-but he...we-"

"Like I said Manny, _there's nothing I do better than revenge_." She gave her one last smirk before walking turning and heading off to the car. She had more important things to do...like Craig.


	4. PLEASE READ

**Hey everyone. I'm sorry to say this but all my stories are now on a temporary hiatus. I got a great promotion and got to move across the US! But I'm way busier now and don't really have time for these stories. I hope I can return o theses stories one day but for now I can't. Again, I'm sorry And I wish you all the best wish your writing:)**


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